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	<title>WIRL Project &#187; Pregnant</title>
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	<description>What It&#039;s Really Like.</description>
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		<title>Thoughts on &#8220;The Scissors&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/thoughts-on-the-scissors/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/thoughts-on-the-scissors/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2015 17:00:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Alessandra Macaluso]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health/Fitness]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mistake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Multiples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scissors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surgery]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=7567</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It wasn&#8217;t until I was in my twenties, that I learned I was a mistake. I was sitting at my parent&#8217;s dinner table. We were just chit-chatting about life, school, and other, you know, normal, non-life-altering conversations that could make you re-think your entire being, when it casually came out. &#8220;A mistake?&#8221; I said. My dad looked at me like I had ten heads. Then, in his thick Italian accent, and very matter-of-factly, he said: &#8220;Well, we had-a four boys. Then, we finally had your sister &#8211; our girl!&#8221; He paused, put his hand on mine, looked right into my eyes and said: &#8220;Why de fack would we want another one?!&#8221; I stared at him blankly, wide-eyed and slow-blinking. My mother piped up, in her strong New York accent: &#8220;But we&#8217;re so glad you&#8217;re HEA!&#8221; Umm, what &#8220;de fack&#8221; just happened?! Anyway, I&#8217;m thinking of this a lot today because I am 18 weeks pregnant, and yesterday was the day we found out what&#8217;s cooking. Turns out, it&#8217;s a BOY!! One of the first things people have said to us over the last 24 hours after hearing the news is &#8220;Yay, now Greg can go get snipped!!!&#8221; I think this is funny, and totally get why people say that &#8211; it makes sense that someone would want a boy and a girl. Maybe we never looked at it like that because I am the youngest of six children; 4 boys, then my sister, then me. My husband is one of four children; an older brother, a twin brother, and a younger sister. So I guess our parents kind of took the concept of a &#8220;complete&#8221; family and ran with it. And this extends beyond our parents; one aunt and uncle had six kids, and another had four. There were so many first cousins running around on any given family party that I don&#8217;t even know how anyone kept track. Our families didn&#8217;t have babies, they had litters. In our case, our choice to have another baby was not a mistake; we knew we were ready to grow our family. Truth be told, Greg actually wanted another girl, and we both really were convinced that a girl it would be. It&#8217;s not that he has anything against boys, it&#8217;s just that he is a little worried about what kind of boy he would produce. Him and his brothers were off the walls growing up, so he is a bit terrified. But it doesn&#8217;t matter &#8211; we&#8217;re having a boy! A little boy!! So yes, one and one. For now. Because we never even talked about, you know, the snipping. I mean, what if we&#8217;re not done yet? What if, after another year or two, I&#8217;m not ready to hang up the &#8216;CLOSED&#8217; sign? What if our upbringings get the best of us and one day, after I finally begin to feel like myself again, and the two miraculously are sleeping and eating and on manageable schedules, I drink too much cheap wine, go bat-shit crazy and decide I still want to birth a litter under the stairs? THESE ARE THE THINGS I JUST DON&#8217;T KNOW YET. I have no idea if that will be the case, or if it would even be possible. Maybe two is our magic number. I do know that, after having Penelope, as much as I love her, there were moments where I couldn&#8217;t even imagine entertaining the idea of having a second child in the first place because WHAT WAS I TAKING CRAZY PILLS?! I thought of women who had multiples and was in awe. I still am. Because babies are a lot of work. I mean, I knew it, but you don&#8217;t reeeeeeally know the ins and outs, the messy, tired, repetitive, taxing parts of it until your little one is here. Of course, you made the decision to have a child. Of course, you are going to do your best to take care of this tiny human with a fierce kind of love and determination you never had before, the kind that trumps getting poop on your finger, spit-up in your hair, and makes you constantly second-guess if you are even doing this right, for crying out loud. My mother had all six children within eight years. That&#8217;s not a typo. Let&#8217;s just say it &#8211; she is a special kind of crazy. I often ask her, &#8220;What were you thinking?&#8221; and each time, she shrugs her shoulders and her response is always the same: &#8220;I wasn&#8217;t!&#8221; When I ask her how the heck she handled all of us, she just says that she still has no idea, and that you just do it, you don&#8217;t have time to think about it. My aunt Angela had an entirely different response than the norm when I shared the news. Instead of reaching for the scissors, she said: &#8220;Yay! Then next time, whatever it is will be a sibling of the same for him or her!&#8221; Wait &#8211; what? Next time?! &#8220;We&#8217;ll see how two goes first,&#8221; I said, &#8220;I don&#8217;t know how you guys did it!&#8221; But she gave me the best response. She said: &#8220;All I can say is, if you like it, it works, no matter how many there are. Don&#8217;t think of it as work, it was a lot fun. Nothing is like a house full of little kiddies. I would have had two more.&#8221; At this point, I&#8217;m just thankful for happy and healthy. I feel so content with Penelope, and all I can think about is watching this tough little cookie give her little brother a run for his money. This, to me, right now, feels complete, but we will see what the future holds. My point in this little rant in which we run to put the scissors away, is this: a &#8220;complete&#8221; family is exactly what that is &#8211; to you. Maybe it&#8217;s a boy and a girl. Maybe it&#8217;s two little girls, or two little boys. Maybe it&#8217;s one child. Maybe it&#8217;s ten. Maybe it&#8217;s none. Maybe it&#8217;s you and your husband, maybe it&#8217;s you, your wife, and two dogs; maybe it&#8217;s you and your non-wedded partner for life; maybe it&#8217;s the two of you, your pet iguana named Fred, and a boat. Maybe it&#8217;s simply, beautifully, YOU, living your life to its fullest and doing just fine, thankyouverymuch. &#8220;I would have had two more. Don&#8217;t think of it as work, it was a lot of fun.&#8221; I&#8217;m raising my non-alcoholic beverage to you, putting the scissors in the drawer, and saying that, no matter what your situation, let&#8217;s make it fun. &#160; This post was originally published by Alessandra Macaluso on Punkwife.com. ]]></description>
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		<title>Leaving Your Baby at the Hospital &#8211; Two Weeks as a NICU Mom</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/leaving-your-baby-at-the-hospital-two-weeks-as-a-nicu-mom/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/leaving-your-baby-at-the-hospital-two-weeks-as-a-nicu-mom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2015 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mandi Johnson]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Baby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blood Pressure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newborn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NICU]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pre-eclampsia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Preeclampsia]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Pregnant]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=6922</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[15 Days. Fifteen days that felt like an eternity. Having a child in the NICU is a long, emotional roller coaster that nothing can prepare you for. Luckily, my story is a good one, and we now have a healthy 19 month old. However, I’ll never get back those minutes, those hours that I could not hold him, I could not kiss him. I wasn’t the first, second, or probably even the third person to hold my son. Back to the beginning – after 34 weeks of what seemed like a “normal” pregnancy, I was starting to swell.  My shoes didn’t fit, my ring didn’t fit and I felt miserable –but I thought this was all “normal” pregnancy symptoms. I gained 10 pounds in two weeks. At my 34 week appointment I was admitted to the hospital for high blood pressure. After 24 hours and an extremely high protein count I was diagnosed with severe pre-eclampsia. My son needed to be born now. Pre-eclampsia is the the leading cause of maternal and infant illness and mortality.  (For more information visit here) Pre-eclampsia is the the leading cause of maternal and infant illness and mortality. I was rushed to the OR – I didn’t have time for my doula to arrive, I didn’t have time to think about what was going to happen to me, and I definitely didn’t get to ask the question about what would happen to my baby after. I knew he would likely spend some time in the NICU. But no one warned me that I couldn’t hold him, that I wouldn’t even get to see him (other than the quick – over the sheet glimpse) for OVER 24 hours. Those hours were the most agonizing 24 hours I have ever had to endure. Because of my blood pressure and my high protein levels, I was at risk for having a seizure. To minimize that risk I was on a magnesium sulfate drip. “Mag” as it is lovingly referred to – is really nasty stuff. I felt like I was on fire. It makes your muscles feel like rubber bands. &#8230;no one warned me that I couldn’t hold him, that I wouldn’t even get to see him (other than the quick – over the sheet glimpse) for OVER 24 hours. Those hours were the most agonizing 24 hours I have ever had to endure. I felt like I was a prisoner. I couldn’t go see my son – I was hooked up to two IV lines, oxygen, leg pressure cuffs, an oxygen monitor and a BP cuff. They had the lights off in my room, and the TV was not on. All to minimize the risk of having a seizure. My husband split his time between staying with me and visiting our son. I recorded a tearful message on his phone that he played for him in his incubator. It wasn’t until months later that I found out that he didn’t hold him in the NICU until I was allowed to go and see him. My husband wanted me to hold him first. It wasn’t until months later that I found out that he didn’t hold him in the NICU until I was allowed to go and see him. My husband wanted me to hold him first. The day after he was born the doctor came in and I was awaiting the words that I was ok to be taken off of the magnesium and wheeled down to the NICU and I could finally hold my baby boy. My blood pressure was still high and initially I was told I would not be allowed to see him – that I still needed the “mag” for another 24 hours. I broke down. I balled. I couldn’t handle it.  They couldn’t keep me from my baby! I was told to “calm down”  because my BP skyrocketed. In the end I was told I could be taken off the magnesium to go and see him for an hour. I could barely stand to get into the wheelchair and the nurse shielded my eyes in the hallway from the lights. Finally, I got to meet our son. This was just the beginning of our NICU journey. I was discharged two days later – only to leave the hospital and leave our baby boy behind. Coming home without your child is probably the hardest thing to do. However, knowing he was ok, and was in good hands in the NICU is a small comfort. Coming home without your child is probably the hardest thing to do. Our daily routine consisted of my mother-in-law driving me to the hospital in the morning, me sitting by his side – staring at him in the incubator and hoping that all of the nurses notes would show that he was doing better, getting stronger, and meeting the milestones he needed to in order for us to bring him home. Those milestones consisted of getting him to eat so much at a feeding, gain weight, and to keep his body temp up on his own. I was an emotional wreck and anytime there was any setback I wanted to scream. I remember trying to coax him to eat just a few more milliliters from his bottle. My husband went back to work so that he could take time off when we got the baby home instead of spending time at the hospital. We would both go back in the evening, or if I was too exhausted my husband would go and stay with him. Our first diaper changes were through the portholes of the incubator.  We had to watch the “wires” and re-connect his oxygen monitor. We would sit and listen to the different beeps that came from the monitors showing that he was breathing, and that his oxygen level was ok. The first few times an alarm goes off it&#8217;s scary! Those beeps become strangely comforting and the first night home without them is nerve-wracking! Our first diaper changes were through the portholes of the incubator.  We had to watch the “wires” and re-connect his oxygen monitor. Each night we had to say goodbye. They tell you it’s hard to leave your baby, but they fail to mention that you have to repeat this day after day after day. I was told that this wouldn’t last forever, that it would come to an end and it did. Thankfully, I had a wonderfully supportive husband and we got through it together. We were the lucky ones, our baby boy is doing just fine and at the end of our 15 days – we finally got to take him home. &#160;]]></description>
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		</item>
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		<title>Being a Twin with Twins: What It&#8217;s Really Like</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/being-a-twin-with-twins-what-its-really-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/being-a-twin-with-twins-what-its-really-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2015 15:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Caitlin Bloom]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WIRL Challenge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Birth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blessing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fraternal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Multiples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Siblings]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Twins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WIRL Twin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=6668</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My name is Caitlin and I am a fraternal twin. This is my story. My sister’s name is Chalise. We grew up in a small town in northwest Pennsylvania. We had a pretty normal childhood with amazing parents and two older sisters, Alison and Amanda. Once we reached high school, we started having different friends and different interests. Chalise is very smart and very talented. She was always the star of our high school plays because she had an awesome voice. I was more interested in hanging out with my friends than schoolwork. I was homecoming queen and she was one of the top students in our class. We always remained pretty close. We never looked much alike, so we were never able to play any tricks on anyone! I always wanted to be an identical twin; I thought it would be so cool. After high school, Chalise went to college while I stayed in town and worked for a little less than a year. I decided to join the Marine Corps. Living so far away from her was rough. She was in Pittsburgh and I was stationed in Camp Lejeune, NC. Over the past 7 years, we’ve seen each other less than 10 times. She moved to Florida for work, and I moved to Illinois with my fiancé. It’s hard for both of us to find the time to visit home, or each other. I wish so badly we lived closer, because I miss her. We pretty much grew up just like regular siblings would. I guess I just don’t know what it’s like to NOT be a twin! I never thought too much about whether I wanted twins of my own or not, I suppose it just never crossed my mind. Well, about 11 months ago, I had fraternal twin girls of my own! I’ll start from the beginning&#8230; I got pregnant late fall of 2013. I hate to say I wasn’t trying, but I wasn’t trying! Haha! I already had a daughter of my own, and my fiancé, John, has two kids from a previous marriage. One morning I woke up with some familiar symptoms, so when I got to work (I worked in a hospital) I went to the women&#8217;s clinic for a test. The results came almost immediately. I was happy, but nervous. What would my fiancé think? We had just gotten a house and we were starting renovations. I noticed I was showing much faster than I did with my first, but everyone told me that you show faster with your second pregnancy, so my “what-ifs” were calmed down a bit. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “twins.” When I went in for my first appointemt with my nurse practitioner to listen to the heartbeat, I asked her if she only heard one heartbeat and she told me yes. So, once again, my “what-ifs” were calmed. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “twins.” When John and I were waiting to go in to our first ultrasound we were talking about how we would react if she told us it was twins. We were just being silly. When I got back there, she started doing some measurements without showing it on the big screen. Just messing around and making small talk, I asked, “There’s only one in there right?” She just looked at me. I knew by the look on her face there was more than one in there. I asked if she was for real, and she was. I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t believe it. Twins?!?! What am I going to do? What’s going to happen to my body? Am I going to have major complications and have to deliver early by way of an emergency c-section?? Will I have to visit my babies for months in a NICU? What if I can’t handle two babies at a time? I was scared. Although I remained pretty scared throughout the pregnancy, I got so excited. I was lucky enough to be absolutely blessed with TWO babies at the same time!! Not everyone gets to say that, and I can. I was very happy when I found out I was having two girls. At first, they thought they were identical, but it turns out the placentas were just fused together making it look like one. When John and I were waiting to go in to our first ultrasound we were talking about how we would react if she told us it was twins. We were just being silly. My pregnancy was rough. I had terrible headaches and was always nauseous. I didn’t puke much, though. I ended up getting carpal tunnel in both wrists, making it hard to do pretty much everything! I also had some symptoms that most might not want to hear about as well! Haha! Twin pregnancies are considered high risk, so I had many more appointments than what I did with my first. Many more ultrasounds as well, which was nice. When I got pregnant, I was only about 115 pounds and stood only 5’2”. I was amazed that my little body could possibly support two babies inside!! It’s really something when you think about it. Towards the end, I started having 2-3 appointments a week. My baby “B” wasn’t growing as much as baby “A” so they were monitoring us closely. Intrauterine growth restriction is what they called it. I received a shot to develop their lungs just in case I delivered early. I was doing very well. I worked until I was 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant. That following week, my doctor recommended a induction. Trying for a vaginal delivery was very important to me, unless medical necessary. We decided on the date July 3rd, only two short days away. I was so ready to have those sweet girls in my arms. My poor body was ready, too! I was amazed that my little body could possibly support two babies inside!! It’s really something when you think about it. July 3rd comes along. My fiancé and I headed to the hospital at about 5:30 am. The nurses got me ready and I was given drugs to start the process. At about 7:30 or so, my doctor came in and broke my water for me. I was checked hourly and I was progressing smoothly. My epidural went in without a problem and helped me with the pain. My nurse came in close to 1:30 and checked me. Little did I know I was 9cm dilated and baby “A” was ready! She rushed to call my doctor. She came back to get me started on pushing. Well, that didn’t take long at all, and if my doctor would have come into the room 5 seconds later than what she did, my nurse would have been the one delivering my first! Like I said, she was ready!! Baby “B” was a whole two pounds smaller than baby “A”. She was breech after her sister came out. My doctor was confident that she could get her out without a problem since the first was so much bigger. My sweet baby was born exactly 5 minutes after her sister by being pulled out by her legs! I was so extremely relieved to be able to have just what I wanted, a perfect vaginal delivery. No problems. No tears. Very quick. Hearing so many other twin delivery horror stories makes me so proud and grateful that I was able to do it. My body is amazing. Not only did my delivery go perfect, my girls were pretty much healthy with the exception of a little bit of jaundice. Baby “A” was named Avery Mae, was born at 1:30pm and weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces. Baby “B” was named Reagan Marie, was born at 1:35pm, and weighed 4 pounds 3 ounces. They were absolutely perfect. We left the hospital two days later. No NICU time!!! If you were to ask my fiancé or myself what it’s like to have twins, we would tell you it’s not that much different than just one. You’re already breastfeeding or making a bottle, so doing the same for a second baby isn’t much more work. Same with diaper changes. Sure, it’s more expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. You really don’t need two of everything. The only things you really need double of are car seats, diapers and either breast milk or formula. They can share most everything including clothes, a crib, bottles and toys. We had two swings that really helped, so I would totally recommend some of those! We bought them used so we didn’t break the bank. The worst part of having these beautiful girls is that my mom never got to meet them. My mom passed away in 2012 due to her second stroke. She was only 51. It was very hard, and it really doesn&#8217;t get any easier. I wish so bad I could call her and ask for twin stories and advice&#8230; but I can&#8217;t. She was an amazing mother and amazing grandmother. It absolutely breaks my heart that my twins will never personally know her. But, I will never stop talking about her and &#8220;keeping her alive&#8221; in my heart. I believe she&#8217;s here, keeping an eye on these sweet babies every day. Avery and Reagan are perfect. They’re about to be 11 months old in a couple days and this last year has been amazing. The girls have been sleeping through the night for many months now, which I couldn’t be more thankful for. Getting them on a schedule was the best thing I could have done. It’s a little tough going places by myself with my three girls, so most of the time I just wait until John is able to go or stay home with them. Whenever we are out, it never fails, someone stops us to see them, or talk about them. We have heard “you sure have your hands full” more times than I can count. The best thing you can say to a twin parent when you see them out is telling them how blessed they are. Not how busy they must be or how it’s better them than you. Just say, “You have been so blessed.” Because, really- we have. Us twin (and other multiples) parents are special. We have been chosen to raise two (or more) babies at once. The best thing you can say to a twin parent when you see them out is telling them how blessed they are. Not how busy they must be or how it’s better them than you. Just say, “You have been so blessed.” When people babysit, they tell me they don’t know how I do it. Even though my girls are seriously so well behaved, they are crawling now, and they don’t always go to the same place. They’re busy. It’s tough. Even for me it’s tough. Every day is hard work. When asked how I do it, I respond, “I just do.” My girls have filled an empty void I didn’t even know I had. I feel complete now. Sure, I love my oldest daughter, but something was missing. Not anymore. My family is complete and I have never been happier. My life has more meaning. I am so lucky to be able to stay home with them and raise them, to watch them grow and learn. My heart explodes with love every single day. I have brought these beautiful girls into the world. I am happy and blessed beyond words.]]></description>
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