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	<title>WIRL Project &#187; Relationships</title>
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	<description>What It&#039;s Really Like.</description>
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		<title>E: Enthusiasm &#8211; What It&#8217;s Really Like</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/e-enthusiasm-what-its-really-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/e-enthusiasm-what-its-really-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2015 07:30:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Brody]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Home/Garden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life/Leisure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Work/Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ABCs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Body Language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buy In]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disguised Motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enthusiasm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Morale]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tone]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=7697</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post is part of a series titled, “A-B-Cs – What It’s Really Like”. Each week a new letter and its word will be revealed. Each word’s explanation will illustrate significant personal meaning, application and ultimately demonstrate, What It’s Really Like…  We have all heard that “a little bit goes a long way” and none more can be said about the action of enthusiasm. A small dose of enthusiasm can play a pivotal role in shaping the state of future outcomes, both positively and negatively. Enthusiasm may often be disguised as motivation. The difference between the two is that you may be motivated to accomplish a task, but not have enthusiasm for processing the task. One example of this may be your job. Most everyone is motivated by a paycheck; however they may not necessarily be enthusiastic about their job or career. A little bit of that has crept in on me over the past few years of my feelings toward my career. In education, teachers need to have an infinite amount of enthusiasm. Without this attribute, the chances are very high that the students in the class will not maximize their potential. As a student I thrived in classrooms where the teacher/professor was exuberantly enthusiastic. Today’s students are no different, in fact, enthusiasm is needed now more than ever as a way to grab and keep their attention. A teacher must always be ON and it is exhausting. That’s why after five years I can’t figure out whether I am burnt out or less enthusiastic about the profession. I still am motivated to help educate young people (and cash that bi-monthly paycheck), but enthusiasm sometimes gets clouded or washed away amidst all of the non-teaching headaches that continue to plague today’s educators. I am not going to disclose those here.  If you know a teacher, ask them about it. I am sure they would love to fill you in. Students are like bloodhounds and can sense when something is a little bit off. You tend to learn a lot about one another when you spend 180 days together for an hour or more – for better or worse. One day this past year, I was having one of the worst professional and personal days that I can recall. I actually stopped class a few minutes early to recollect myself before my next class came in. One of my students sitting nearby began a conversation with me as I was staring at an inanimate object on my desk. “Mr. Brody, can I ask you a question?” he asked. “Sure, Joseph”, I replied. “Do you like your job?” I was rattled and laughed. “Yes I do. Why do you ask?” “I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem that you like teaching that much.” There it was. I had one bad class. One moment where I could not hide my emotions and let them sit on my sleeve. The only moment that I was “off” and when my guard was down, I was found out. My lack of enthusiasm during one class hour was discovered. This situation was alarming and frustrating. Think of other areas of our lives where enthusiasm applies. My grandmother once told me, “Be as enthusiastic to stay married as you were to get married.” This was sage advice from someone who was married for over 60 years. I remember her quote regularly not as a reminder to stay married to my wife in tough situations, but to be enthusiastic about the little things that go a long way. Much like a teacher’s students those that you live with and are closest to can sense when you are not enthusiastic and buying in. Household chores, changing a dirty diaper, hanging out with your spouse’s annoying friends/co-workers (I promise I am not referring to my wife and I!) – It all adds up. Being caught without enthusiasm is called “faking it”. Some are better at it than others. Some just don’t give a damn. Most eventually get found out by their peers by an innate human 6th sense. How much of that are you subliminally broadcasting to friends and loved ones either through tone and/or body language?  Enthusiasm is the purest form of boosting morale. Enthusiasm is an expression and it sets a tone. What it is not is a way of falsely constructing motivation in order to accomplish an undesired duty. Enthusiasm is a way to build toward positive outcomes and also store for survival to persevere and endure through tough obstacles. Collectively, it is a powerful tool that can take you a long way as long as your mind is right. Let’s do this! &#160;]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I Chose to Love</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/i-chose-to-love/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/i-chose-to-love/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2015 08:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Heather]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life/Leisure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Confess]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[constitution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gay Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Homosexual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Same-Sex Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Secret]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supreme Court]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=7290</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This past Friday was a huge day. In case you&#8217;ve been without any sort of contact to the outside world, on June 25, 2015, the Supreme Court ruled that the constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. “No longer may this liberty be denied,” Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote for the majority in the historic decision. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.” Marriage is a “keystone of our social order,” Justice Kennedy said, adding that the plaintiffs in the case were seeking “equal dignity in the eyes of the law.” I have to admit, when I woke up on Friday in my hotel room in Detroit (I was away for a Direct Sales event) I immediately had tears streaming down my face when I read the news. FINALLY!  Friday&#8217;s ruling made my heart happy. Why? That&#8217;s easy, because I choose love. I chose to love when I was in college and a close friend opened up and told me that she was in a relationship with another female. She was the first person that I knew personally that was out. I remember the look in her eyes, the fear that I would turn my back on her when she announced her secret. I remember her telling me how it hurt when she heard other friends talk about gays. I remember her telling me &#8220;I didn&#8217;t fall in love with a gender, I fell in love with a person, with someone&#8217;s heart. Love does not have a gender&#8221; Wow. I knew from that day, that I was an ally, an advocate of love. Straight love. Homosexual love. Genderless love. Just Love.  I chose to love when I sat with another friend while she came out to her parents. I held her hair back when she was so worried about what the conversation was going to be like that she physically made herself sick worrying about it. I remember closing my eyes and wishing that I wasn&#8217;t hearing the words correctly that were coming out of her parents&#8217; mouths. The words of disapproval, ignorance, and hate. I held her as she broke down after the conversation and we spent the night watching Super Troopers and Napoleon Dynamite hoping that laughter would help erase the previous hours. I chose to love when another friend came out and after a year of harassment and hate couldn&#8217;t take it anymore and took his own life. He was only 22 and the words and actions of others over something they thought he &#8220;decided to become&#8221; could not be pushed out of his mind. I chose to love when a friend from my hometown expressed how much he needed to move to a town with more acceptance. So he packed up everything that he owned and with a close friend moved west, where he felt more free to be who he was. I chose to love when a relative brought his boyfriend to Christmas dinner this year and quietly introduced him as &#8220;a friend&#8221;, it was his quiet way of coming out to those of us that picked up on it. After a late night Facebook conversation with me assuring him that it did not change my opinion of him, he admitted how fearful he was that it would change how others in the family looked at him. It broke my heart that night&#8230; not because a relative was gay, but because he was so afraid that those that love him would change their minds once they found out who he loved.  I chose to love when I watched the documentary &#8220;Bridegroom&#8221; and bawled during 95% of it. (It&#8217;s on Netflix if you haven&#8217;t watched it.) I cannot imagine having to fight to see my husband in the hospital or to not be able to have a say in his funeral if something happened. I cannot imagine not having basic rights as a spouse. I do not expect everyone to believe the same things that I do. However, I do expect others to understand that everyone should have the same rights. September 10, 2011 (yes, 9/10/11) was an amazing day. It was the day that my husband and I got married. We were able to stand in front of our friends and our family and declare our love. We didn&#8217;t have to worry if our marriage wouldn&#8217;t be accepted or honored if we left the state. For the longest time, I couldn&#8217;t imagine my friends and family not having that same right to share their love with those that they care most about. And now, because our country chose to love&#8230; I don&#8217;t have to imagine that anymore. &#160;]]></description>
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		<title>The Art of Flirting</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/the-art-of-flirting/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/the-art-of-flirting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2015 09:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Lori  Ann Davis]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flirting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=6253</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Whether you are new to the dating scene or are in a long-term relationship, one thing remains the same; flirting is still key to expressing your affections towards someone! We all know that communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, but who said it has to be all talk? Flirting can be verbal or nonverbal and can involve body language, touching and eye contact among other things.  And, the good news is that flirting is essential for married couples.  Flirting brings out our masculine and feminine energy, which is what draws us to each other and causes the sparks to fly.  It can make us feel alive, and it is fun! Flirting brings out our masculine and feminine energy, which is what draws us to each other and causes the sparks to fly. So, how do you flirt? Is it something that you are comfortable with? The good news is that flirting can be fun and simple with a few helpful suggestions! Ways to Flirt: • Flirting can be as simple as catching someone’s eye and smiling, lingering there a bit longer than you usually would and then looking away.  Then say” hello” and start up a simple conversation. • Keep the conversation positive and be happy. Smile and have fun. • Make direct eye contact. Look at their face and when they seem excited about something they are talking about, ask more questions. Give them your full attention. • Look for opportunities to compliment them. • Be confident but not overly confident. You don’t have to tell them all about yourself or all the things you have accomplished. Just feeling good about yourself makes you attractive. • Tease them a bit, but be careful not to go overboard. The more you know the person, the more you can use this approach. • Casually touch the other person’s arm or hand. Linger there for a moment more than you normally would. Key Points to Remember When Flirting: • Act like a lady or a gentleman or it is not seen as flirting and will have the opposite effect. It might chase the other person away instead of drawing them closer OR it will get you the wrong kind of attention. Remember, flirting should be subtle in nature.  Remember, flirting should be subtle in nature. • Mimic their body language. • Relax, stop worrying about the outcome and just have fun! Flirting in long-term relationships or marriages is also very important. It helps to keep the relationship alive. When the relationship is no longer new and the romantic phase starts to end, the “feel-good” hormones start to decrease. We get more comfortable with our relationship and with each other. This has benefits, but it also can lead to a decrease in our desire for intimacy with our partner. Intimacy takes a back seat, playfulness decreases and we focus on other things.  We can start to take the relationship and each other for granted. We stop “dating” each other. We don’t put as much effort into the relationship.  We may feel like we no longer need to flirt, but the opposite is true. When the relationship is no longer new and the romantic phase starts to end, the “feel-good” hormones start to decrease. Flirting can trigger those “feel-good” hormones that we had in the beginning of the relationship. It is important to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Men who are not flirted with are not as happy. Men need to be happy in a relationship in order to want to stay. Ladies, this is a great way to show your guy how much you care about him and how much you desire him!  Guys, it tells your lady that you would choose her again as your mate and that you still find her attractive and sexy. This is so important in creating an unstoppable relationship!  It will have the added benefit of making you both feel more alive, and it is fun!  We need this kind of fun and playfulness in our relationships. Men who are not flirted with are not as happy. Flirting with your partner can a look a little different than when you first met. It can be more overt in nature and more risqué! Feel free to flirt in any way that you and your partner are both comfortable with. Here are a few suggestions! Flirting with your spouse: • Smile and look at your partner with that “look” that says “I want you; you are mine.” • Use lingering touch, but this can be more risqué than when you are dating. • A kiss hello or good-bye but instead of a quick kiss, make it a lingering one. • Comment about how nice your partner looks. • Tease them, but make sure they are enjoying it as well. Be careful not to go overboard.  • Text them during the day to build anticipation and let them know what you have on your mind. This can be as subtle or as obvious as you both are comfortable with. Remember that flirting comes in a lot of different forms, but the most important thing is to keep it light and playful. With dating, keep it simple and enjoyable.  With long-term relationships, learn what your partner likes, and use it to your advantage.  Use flirting to make the next move in dating or to keep the sparks flying in your relationship! &#160; Lori Ann Davis MA, CRS Author, Certified Relationship Specialist, radio host www.lorianndavis.com]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I Don’t Want To Be A Champion For Abused Women</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/i-dont-want-to-be-a-champion-for-abused-women/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/i-dont-want-to-be-a-champion-for-abused-women/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 May 2015 09:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stephanie Volkert]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life/Leisure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=5798</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m doing a challenge to blog every day in May. Today’s prompt is “The story of your life in 250 words or less.” I don’t know how to fit 33 years into 250 words, but here goes: I grew up a poor black child….. no wait, that was Steve Martin in The Jerk. Okay okay. I can try to be serious for like five minutes. I’ve never been good at talking about my life. Confusing, I know, because I blog, but I blog about the things that I don’t mind sharing. I don’t want to talk about life pre-age-28 or so, because it’s not so pretty, and it’s not me anymore. I’m in a new marriage, in a new state, with a new house, new pets, nearly new everything. This life does not feel like that life, because this life isn’t that life. This life is better. This life is happier, more fulfilling, less scary, and more stable. This life has less abuse. This life has laughter filling quiet moments, while the past life had fear that forced silence. This life has wonder, adventure, and good wine. This life has date nights and love notes. The past life had isolation and betrayal. I don’t want to be a champion for abused women by talking about abuse. I don’t want to be an advocate. I just want to enjoy this life that I have now, so that’s the life you hear about here. That’s the stories you’ll be getting from me. This life is the life I’ve made for myself, and it is absolutely the best life for me, full of love and laughter and a whole lot of dog hair. &#160;]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>What Motivates YOU? Here&#8217;s My Story of What Motivated Me.</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/what-motivates-you-heres-my-story-of-what-motivated-me/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/what-motivates-you-heres-my-story-of-what-motivated-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Apr 2015 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Alessandra Macaluso]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life/Leisure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Style/Beauty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Work/Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brides]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding planning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weddings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=4925</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; This is my story of what motivated me. I felt like I didn&#8217;t have a choice, this needed to come out. What motivated you? What&#8217;s something that you didn&#8217;t pick, but instead IT picked YOU? After my husband proposed I remember feeling blissfully happy; sharing the news, celebrating with friends and family, and walkin’ on clouds, viewing everything through my bling’d out, rose-colored glasses. What I also remember is being really surprised at what I hadn’t prepared for when it came to actually planning the wedding. We attend weddings, but don’t see “behind-the-scenes” until it’s our turn. When that curtain cracks open for us and we excitedly peek behind it, out of nowhere – BAM! – we are hit with a giant sandbag swung from the rafters full of financial stress, pressure, and relationship challenges. And when I say ‘relationship challenges’, I’m talking about alllll your relationships: family, friends, business (because get ready, you’ll have lots of contracts to sign), and the postman, who is already a) assuming he’s invited and b) requesting you “don’t seat him in the nosebleeds”. There were many stages of wedding planning during which it became glaringly obvious to me why people elope. The race to measure up, keep people happy, stay financially stable, and balance all the moving parts can cause a slew of unforeseen obstacles and tricky situations, and most of this will naturally fall on the shoulders of the blushing bride-to-be. When the wedding planning began I suddenly felt that I’d stepped onto a malfunctioning factory conveyer belt that seemed to get faster as it progressed, operated by individuals who had apparently slugged one too many mimosas. People were standing by at their stations along the assembly line ready to package me up: the dress, the venue, the cake, and the opinions. Oh, the opinions. My head spun. I attended a bridal show, and wondered where the striped tent was above it all because it felt like a circus. “Take this to lose 40 lbs. before your big day!” “Register with us and get your free cake-mixer-slash-nose-hair-remover that you surely can’t have a happy ever after without!” “Your wedding will not be perfect until you get this undergarment designed to help hide all your back-fat! Our must-have wedding day accessory, inspired by Spanx and Satan, will hide away all your – wait, you didn’t know you had back-fat? Well thank goodness you came today so we can save you from looking like a giant sweaty wildebeest spilling out of her dress! You won’t be able to sit down or breathe, but that’s okay, because you will look breathtaking.” (*GUSH*) And the surprises kept coming. Suddenly, certain people whom I never thought had it in them were competing and comparing. My ring became an object of scrutiny and silent judgment. Expectations crept in, along with “to-do” lists. If I was the one getting married, why did it feel like I was throwing a wedding for everyone else? I couldn’t believe how overwhelmed I felt! I was grateful for our wedding, and there was much beauty amongst the chaos. So much beauty, and so much love! But the reality today is that planning a wedding is a pressure-filled, emotional time, and navigating through while keeping your sanity, finances, and relationships intact is like trying to complete a triathlon with no training. You may cross the finish line, but not before collapsing a few times while gasping for air (and maybe losing your wallet along the way). I thought I might have been better prepared – maybe even done things differently – if someone let me in on the “real deal” of what to expect, and it prompted me to write about my experience. What started as a small article that ran in a local magazine evolved into a book, The Bitch’s Bridal Bible, filled with stories from former brides and grooms, interviews with therapists, hilarious anecdotes and nuggets of wedding and marital wisdom reminding today’s bride to slow down, breathe, remain true to herself, and keep the focus on what it’s really all about: celebrating the decision to spend the rest of your life, with the love of your life. That you can in fact do things your way while remaining happy and keeping your relationships healthy, and that there are plenty of alternatives to side-stepping the faulty conveyor belt. If you’re planning a wedding you’ll likely encounter some of the obstacles that are inevitable along the way. But at least now you can enter the race with some training under your belt. I’ll be on the sidelines, cheering you on. I’ll hand you a towel and a bottle of water. And I certainly will not try to sell you a god-awful undergarment from hell. Promise. &#160; &#160;]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dating a Celebrity: What It&#8217;s Really Like</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/dating-a-celebrity-what-its-really-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/dating-a-celebrity-what-its-really-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2015 18:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[WIRL Project]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Date]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Date a Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Famous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Star]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What It's Really Like]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WIRL]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=4569</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We see them on the big screen, court, field, and stage and we daydream about what it would be like to be their significant other. Celebrities have it all&#8230;money, resources, cars, houses, travel, etc. so they would surely be someone who would make your life better and happier, right? Take a look for yourself as this woman confesses what it was really like to date a celebrity&#8230;]]></description>
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