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	<title>WIRL Project &#187; Siblings</title>
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	<description>What It&#039;s Really Like.</description>
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		<title>F: Faith &#8211; What It&#8217;s Really Like</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/f-faith-what-its-really-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/f-faith-what-its-really-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2015 14:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Brody]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health/Fitness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life/Leisure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ABCs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Differences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Faith is Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Siblings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=7895</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post is part of a series titled, “A-B-Cs – What It’s Really Like”. Each week a new letter and its word will be revealed. Each word’s explanation will illustrate significant personal meaning, application and ultimately demonstrate, What It’s Really Like…  Faith is funny. It is presumed that all of us believe in something bigger than ourselves. Peace, love, religion, science, etc. Harmony for all humans, love will prevail/conquer all, trust in the power of the supernatural or higher being, or simply having faith that the sun will come up tomorrow. Out of all the words that I have chosen for this project Faith may be the most difficult to “own”. Maybe it is because I am still learning how to take ownership of it. It has been nearly one month since my mother was diagnosed with Stage-4 Lymphatic cancer. Unofficially to date, this will be her third major encounter with the disease. I learned of the diagnosis late on a Friday night. She would immediately begin an intensive 6-month round of chemotherapy the following Tuesday. Our family’s world, just as in 2005, would be rocked again. In the fall of 2005 my parents would reveal to my brother and I that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The announcement came only a short time before she would undergo a major surgical procedure to help combat her condition. Fortunately my brother and I were attending the same college just 35 miles from our home. We would be there to do whatever possible to ensure the health and healing for our mother during this time. Either out of frustration or fear both of us became angry with my parents after the initial numbness of the announcement subsided. Why did they wait so long to tell us? What good could have come out of holding this news close to the vest? Why were we not included in the updates while the testing process was playing out? We wanted to know why we were being protected like children and not treated as the adults we were. As the elder brother, I became the spokesperson to vent our grievances toward my parents for not disclosing this news beforehand and the virtual blindside of the situation. My father calmly explained that they wanted to be absolutely sure before letting us know (a wise order of operations that I would not understand until many years later with all of the tests and close calls we have endured over the last decade). At the time I felt the explanation was unacceptable and I made both of my parents to swear that they would never withhold any critical information from us again. I finished my proclamation by scolding my mother pleading, “Why wouldn’t you tell us? Don’t you think people may want to pray for you?” Faith is something that I keep very personal. I recall asking my mom when I was a teenager why we discontinued attending church. She said that our involvement in sports and other activities during the week (often on Sundays) made it difficult to stay on top of tasks around the house and attend church regularly. While she acknowledged that it was a poor excuse, our regular attendance would dwindle to part-time to eventually not at all. I also asked her if our absenteeism bothered her. She told me something that I will never forget. She said that even though it bothered her that we no longer attended church, it did not change her relationship with God. “Everyone is different.  Everyone has a different measure of faith.  As long as you have a chat with him (God) once in a while and know that he is always there, I think that is what matters most.” At closer look, much of my faith is deeply internalized likely due to this lesson from my mother. Many readers may have already clicked to another page because they assumed I would continue plugging religion, making for an uncomfortable read. I understand and I am no different. I get extremely uncomfortable when I see continuous expression from individuals on subjects of politics or religion. I believe you are entitled to your opinion, but prefer you keep most of it to yourself. I internalize most of my opinions on these subjects out of respect for others. So much so that it wasn’t until over the course of the past year that I have become comfortable praying in front of my wife. Faith is one element that I have never allowed to become outward and public. Fast forward to 2015 less than 24 hours after learning my mother’s diagnosis… During a break from yard work I began a rare, aimless flip through Facebook to discover that a well-connected colleague of my brother’s had announced my mother’s diagnosis and asked for prayers via a status update. While I appreciated the sentiment of the announcement, I quickly began to boil over in anger. I waited about a 30 minutes before shooting off a text message to my brother, hoping that he would acknowledge what I believed to be a mistake. My thoughts: To this point, I have not heard directly from my parents. My brother filled me in on the diagnosis the night before. Surely they had not notified the family yet. How awful would it be for a family member to learn of my mother’s condition via Facebook? I explained in the text to my brother that while I appreciated the gesture, I did not think the timing was appropriate. In the 15 minutes I waited for a response I convinced myself that my brother would apologize for the mistake and call my mother right away to set it straight. What I would receive in a reply was completely the opposite. For nearly an hour my brother and I went back and forth via text messages about our positions regarding this serious announcement. I claimed that it was a private issue that should be shared with the family and that mom could decide whether or not the information should be shared with the public. My brother countered with chastising me for not giving more credit toward those who were trying to call on faith and the power of prayer to help lift up my mother during this time. We stopped the exchange after we discovered that we were at a complete impasse. During our conversation I challenged my brother to reach out to our mom to guarantee that it was appropriate for this information to be made public without her approval. Once again, I was shocked find what followed. At just a few minutes before midnight, 24 hours after I learned of the diagnosis, an email hit my inbox just as I was getting into bed. It was from my mother to the rest of my immediate family. In the email she apologized for the relay of information and explained why she authorized it to be delivered this way. She cited a moment back in 2005 recalling when her young son Brody said, “Don&#8217;t you think people may want to pray for you?!” I nearly dropped my phone when I read the sentence. Up until that point I did not recall saying those words. The same action I had demanded in the past had been granted to me and I did not like the results. Almost instantaneously I realized that it was not my call and I was in the wrong. This was about her. She went on to parallel some of my brother’s statements from our text message fight: a prayer army is better than a prayer group. I have not publicly shared about my mother’s condition until now. My brother and others have shared her situation with others on social media asking for prayers of hope, strength and faith. After thousands of likes and hundreds of comments I am beginning to realize that this is something I can’t take on in my own small group. Faith is funny. It can be inward or outward. I prefer to be inward. Together it can be extremely powerful. You may ask &#8211; if you are so inward, why are you sharing all of this personal information? The answer is that I am still learning to own my faith beyond something bigger than myself. WORRY STOPS WHERE FAITH BEGINS. – GMa’s Journal &#160;]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Being a Twin with Twins: What It&#8217;s Really Like</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/being-a-twin-with-twins-what-its-really-like/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/being-a-twin-with-twins-what-its-really-like/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2015 15:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Caitlin Bloom]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WIRL Challenge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Birth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blessing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fraternal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Multiples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Siblings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sisters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WIRL Twin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=6668</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My name is Caitlin and I am a fraternal twin. This is my story. My sister’s name is Chalise. We grew up in a small town in northwest Pennsylvania. We had a pretty normal childhood with amazing parents and two older sisters, Alison and Amanda. Once we reached high school, we started having different friends and different interests. Chalise is very smart and very talented. She was always the star of our high school plays because she had an awesome voice. I was more interested in hanging out with my friends than schoolwork. I was homecoming queen and she was one of the top students in our class. We always remained pretty close. We never looked much alike, so we were never able to play any tricks on anyone! I always wanted to be an identical twin; I thought it would be so cool. After high school, Chalise went to college while I stayed in town and worked for a little less than a year. I decided to join the Marine Corps. Living so far away from her was rough. She was in Pittsburgh and I was stationed in Camp Lejeune, NC. Over the past 7 years, we’ve seen each other less than 10 times. She moved to Florida for work, and I moved to Illinois with my fiancé. It’s hard for both of us to find the time to visit home, or each other. I wish so badly we lived closer, because I miss her. We pretty much grew up just like regular siblings would. I guess I just don’t know what it’s like to NOT be a twin! I never thought too much about whether I wanted twins of my own or not, I suppose it just never crossed my mind. Well, about 11 months ago, I had fraternal twin girls of my own! I’ll start from the beginning&#8230; I got pregnant late fall of 2013. I hate to say I wasn’t trying, but I wasn’t trying! Haha! I already had a daughter of my own, and my fiancé, John, has two kids from a previous marriage. One morning I woke up with some familiar symptoms, so when I got to work (I worked in a hospital) I went to the women&#8217;s clinic for a test. The results came almost immediately. I was happy, but nervous. What would my fiancé think? We had just gotten a house and we were starting renovations. I noticed I was showing much faster than I did with my first, but everyone told me that you show faster with your second pregnancy, so my “what-ifs” were calmed down a bit. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “twins.” When I went in for my first appointemt with my nurse practitioner to listen to the heartbeat, I asked her if she only heard one heartbeat and she told me yes. So, once again, my “what-ifs” were calmed. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “twins.” When John and I were waiting to go in to our first ultrasound we were talking about how we would react if she told us it was twins. We were just being silly. When I got back there, she started doing some measurements without showing it on the big screen. Just messing around and making small talk, I asked, “There’s only one in there right?” She just looked at me. I knew by the look on her face there was more than one in there. I asked if she was for real, and she was. I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t believe it. Twins?!?! What am I going to do? What’s going to happen to my body? Am I going to have major complications and have to deliver early by way of an emergency c-section?? Will I have to visit my babies for months in a NICU? What if I can’t handle two babies at a time? I was scared. Although I remained pretty scared throughout the pregnancy, I got so excited. I was lucky enough to be absolutely blessed with TWO babies at the same time!! Not everyone gets to say that, and I can. I was very happy when I found out I was having two girls. At first, they thought they were identical, but it turns out the placentas were just fused together making it look like one. When John and I were waiting to go in to our first ultrasound we were talking about how we would react if she told us it was twins. We were just being silly. My pregnancy was rough. I had terrible headaches and was always nauseous. I didn’t puke much, though. I ended up getting carpal tunnel in both wrists, making it hard to do pretty much everything! I also had some symptoms that most might not want to hear about as well! Haha! Twin pregnancies are considered high risk, so I had many more appointments than what I did with my first. Many more ultrasounds as well, which was nice. When I got pregnant, I was only about 115 pounds and stood only 5’2”. I was amazed that my little body could possibly support two babies inside!! It’s really something when you think about it. Towards the end, I started having 2-3 appointments a week. My baby “B” wasn’t growing as much as baby “A” so they were monitoring us closely. Intrauterine growth restriction is what they called it. I received a shot to develop their lungs just in case I delivered early. I was doing very well. I worked until I was 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant. That following week, my doctor recommended a induction. Trying for a vaginal delivery was very important to me, unless medical necessary. We decided on the date July 3rd, only two short days away. I was so ready to have those sweet girls in my arms. My poor body was ready, too! I was amazed that my little body could possibly support two babies inside!! It’s really something when you think about it. July 3rd comes along. My fiancé and I headed to the hospital at about 5:30 am. The nurses got me ready and I was given drugs to start the process. At about 7:30 or so, my doctor came in and broke my water for me. I was checked hourly and I was progressing smoothly. My epidural went in without a problem and helped me with the pain. My nurse came in close to 1:30 and checked me. Little did I know I was 9cm dilated and baby “A” was ready! She rushed to call my doctor. She came back to get me started on pushing. Well, that didn’t take long at all, and if my doctor would have come into the room 5 seconds later than what she did, my nurse would have been the one delivering my first! Like I said, she was ready!! Baby “B” was a whole two pounds smaller than baby “A”. She was breech after her sister came out. My doctor was confident that she could get her out without a problem since the first was so much bigger. My sweet baby was born exactly 5 minutes after her sister by being pulled out by her legs! I was so extremely relieved to be able to have just what I wanted, a perfect vaginal delivery. No problems. No tears. Very quick. Hearing so many other twin delivery horror stories makes me so proud and grateful that I was able to do it. My body is amazing. Not only did my delivery go perfect, my girls were pretty much healthy with the exception of a little bit of jaundice. Baby “A” was named Avery Mae, was born at 1:30pm and weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces. Baby “B” was named Reagan Marie, was born at 1:35pm, and weighed 4 pounds 3 ounces. They were absolutely perfect. We left the hospital two days later. No NICU time!!! If you were to ask my fiancé or myself what it’s like to have twins, we would tell you it’s not that much different than just one. You’re already breastfeeding or making a bottle, so doing the same for a second baby isn’t much more work. Same with diaper changes. Sure, it’s more expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. You really don’t need two of everything. The only things you really need double of are car seats, diapers and either breast milk or formula. They can share most everything including clothes, a crib, bottles and toys. We had two swings that really helped, so I would totally recommend some of those! We bought them used so we didn’t break the bank. The worst part of having these beautiful girls is that my mom never got to meet them. My mom passed away in 2012 due to her second stroke. She was only 51. It was very hard, and it really doesn&#8217;t get any easier. I wish so bad I could call her and ask for twin stories and advice&#8230; but I can&#8217;t. She was an amazing mother and amazing grandmother. It absolutely breaks my heart that my twins will never personally know her. But, I will never stop talking about her and &#8220;keeping her alive&#8221; in my heart. I believe she&#8217;s here, keeping an eye on these sweet babies every day. Avery and Reagan are perfect. They’re about to be 11 months old in a couple days and this last year has been amazing. The girls have been sleeping through the night for many months now, which I couldn’t be more thankful for. Getting them on a schedule was the best thing I could have done. It’s a little tough going places by myself with my three girls, so most of the time I just wait until John is able to go or stay home with them. Whenever we are out, it never fails, someone stops us to see them, or talk about them. We have heard “you sure have your hands full” more times than I can count. The best thing you can say to a twin parent when you see them out is telling them how blessed they are. Not how busy they must be or how it’s better them than you. Just say, “You have been so blessed.” Because, really- we have. Us twin (and other multiples) parents are special. We have been chosen to raise two (or more) babies at once. The best thing you can say to a twin parent when you see them out is telling them how blessed they are. Not how busy they must be or how it’s better them than you. Just say, “You have been so blessed.” When people babysit, they tell me they don’t know how I do it. Even though my girls are seriously so well behaved, they are crawling now, and they don’t always go to the same place. They’re busy. It’s tough. Even for me it’s tough. Every day is hard work. When asked how I do it, I respond, “I just do.” My girls have filled an empty void I didn’t even know I had. I feel complete now. Sure, I love my oldest daughter, but something was missing. Not anymore. My family is complete and I have never been happier. My life has more meaning. I am so lucky to be able to stay home with them and raise them, to watch them grow and learn. My heart explodes with love every single day. I have brought these beautiful girls into the world. I am happy and blessed beyond words.]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Little Does She Know</title>
		<link>http://www.wirlproject.com/little-does-she-know/</link>
		<comments>http://www.wirlproject.com/little-does-she-know/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2015 18:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kassidy Everard]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Love/Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sibling Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Siblings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sister]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sisterly love]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.wirlproject.com/?p=4273</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sibling relationships are truly extraordinary.  There isn&#8217;t anything in this world that I would not do for my siblings, but I have a special bond with one very close in age. She&#8217;s only eleven months and two days, and six hours older than me.  (but whose keeping track? ) Kennady is my best friend.  She is there for me when I need her most,  She&#8217;s there for me when I need to be punched, and she&#8217;s there for me when I need a hug ( even though she begs me to let go of her) . Throughout the years we have been able to connect in ways that not many people can. I know what she is thinking before she knows, I know when she is going to cry minutes before her eyes even well up. I know when she is mad or confused based on the way she tilts her head, and I know when she needs the hug she always pushes away. But it hasn&#8217;t always been sugar and peaches. When we were younger, Kennady and I would constantly fight.  I remember when I was four and she was five sitting in the living room playing with matchbox cars with her. I reached for the blue car, but she took it. So I picked up the red one and threw it at her head out of anger. Well, her head did bleed and still to this day there is a mark where the car hit her. I don&#8217;t feel bad that I hit her with it&#8230; and almost 11 years later I&#8217;m still proud of it. As we got older we became devious children to each other. We would lock the other out of the house, while staring and laughing out of the  window&#8230;we would even chase each other around the house and kick each other until we were down. At one point, I was the tougher one. I always won the fights. Until we were 8 and I kicked her in the jaw. She ran at me and punched me numerous times. Since then, she has been the toughest one. Having a sister this close in age definitely makes life a little more challenging,  but even more worth it. My sister has taught me what not to do, what to do, how to be loved, and most importantly, she has taught me the meaning of love. Love, to me, has changed definitions many times throughout the 16 years I have been alive.  As it changes more and more, I see less and less of fault in love. Instead of scurrying away from it, I allow it to slowly creep into my life and find the spot it has always belonged. Love isn&#8217;t perfect 100% of the time. It isn&#8217;t always getting along or always saying the perfect things. It isn&#8217;t easy,  in fact, It&#8217;s actually really really hard. But through my relationship with Ken, I can say this: Love works in all ways, and if you truly love someone,  no fight will ever be big enough to break the bond. Love is giving someone your last bite  of food when you have been waiting for it all day. Love is telling someone you hate them,  but knowing you mean the exact opposite.  Love is the tears you cry together because sometimes there aren&#8217;t words for the situation.  Love is pain. But it hurts because it matters. No matter how many times my sister hurts me, I will run back to her and look for her warm embrace.  I will put my life on the line for her any time no matter what.  I can never replace her in my life, and I&#8217;m proud to say that she is my sister. She doesn&#8217;t always appreciate me mothering her&#8230; but sometimes she needs it. And until she believes it to be true, I will remind her how much I love her every single day. At the end of the day, she&#8217;s the only one I&#8217;ll ever have that&#8217;s exactly like she is. I don&#8217;t appreciate her all of the time, and it hurts me to know that one day she won&#8217;t be here for me to appreciate. But one thing I do know is that true love will not fail. If it is meant to be It&#8217;s worth it all, if it is meant to be I&#8217;ll risk the fall. For her, my little heffalump , I would take on the world. But only WITH her could I conquer it. I love her without reason, and no matter what, she will always be my seesta.  Because without her, I would have never known what true love was. Love is knowing someone has the ability to hurt you, but accepting that they also have the ability to take away some of that hurt. It also proves that even through the hardest times, through the disappointment and disagreement, through the fights and the disputes, through the bad and the good, there will always be someone here that loves me and understands who I am as a person. Opening my heart to certain people was and is probably the best decision I could have ever made. I lived for so long under the impression that whatever is able to be loved can also be destroyed. As that is true, not everything that is loved is destroyed. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, &#8220;It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. &#8221; Truer words have never been spoken.]]></description>
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