I like to think of myself as a very positive person, however I have a very bad habit that I have recently discovered as pointed out by my wife. Apparently, I have a regular tendency to convey my negative displeasure toward a situation, item or nature of the environment in the present. Simply put: I bitch a lot.
Since my wife so delicately pointed this out to me several months ago, I have been catching myself doing it more and more when previously I had no idea that I was doing it at all. This exact negativity is one of the main reasons why I absolutely despise social media, especially Facebook. I am often asked why I do not use Facebook more and why my profile is nothing more than a mere name and picture. First off, as a teacher I am extremely paranoid about anything that is posted to the Internet that is directly or indirectly associated with me. We’ve all heard the horror stories, intentional or unintentional. Second, I cannot stand the amount of negativity that is expressed real-time across my Facebook feed. There is plenty of negativity that we all have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I do not have any time for that. Although I have recently started posting to Twitter again, this social media platform is in a very close second when it comes to the moans and groans of society. I regularly post to Instagram because if you have noticed, the majority of the content posted is usually positive in nature. Most users post content that makes them happy and I much prefer this to the alternative.
Although I have been very outspoken about my stance on negative social media I have been quickly made aware that I am becoming the product of which that I actively crusade against. I often let slip toxic quips like, “This house is a mess”, “Well I guess this is never going to get done (referring to chores) “, “We waste so much in this house”, “Why can’t we take care of things around here?”
I have always been my biggest critic. My wife knows this. When I let these comments fly I do not intend for my words to be directed at her or our son. I see it as more of an audio mental checklist that I say aloud to motivate myself to being better at taking care of the task at hand. What I do not realize is that it is extremely offensive to my hard working wife who ends up taking the words to heart as if I consider her efforts a failure. While it may be therapeutic and noteworthy to me, it is extremely upsetting to her.
Lately, I have been making a conscious effort to infuse more positive speech into my daily vernacular in attempt to curb this bad habit. It is extremely difficult to do when you are constantly inundated with the downfalls of society (this is why my brother refuses to watch or read the daily news), continuously scrutinized as an educator by parents and administrators and subject to the rants of lounge lizards that we all know live and breed around the work water cooler. It’s also virtually impossible to do as a coach.
Do yourself a favor and ask the question, “What do I do well?” or “What do WE do well?” Move the question to the past tense at the end of each day to make it part of your daily routine. If you can begin answering these questions you can make a giant step toward becoming more positive which will be much more conducive to you remaining positive in the future. I have found more pluses and less negatives equals better results.Add to favorites