Little Does She Know

Little Does She Know

Sibling relationships are truly extraordinary.  There isn’t anything in this world that I would not do for my siblings, but I have a special bond with one very close in age. She’s only eleven months and two days, and six hours older than me.  (but whose keeping track? )
Kennady is my best friend.  She is there for me when I need her most,  She’s there for me when I need to be punched, and she’s there for me when I need a hug ( even though she begs me to let go of her) . Throughout the years we have been able to connect in ways that not many people can. I know what she is thinking before she knows, I know when she is going to cry minutes before her eyes even well up. I know when she is mad or confused based on the way she tilts her head, and I know when she needs the hug she always pushes away.
But it hasn’t always been sugar and peaches.
When we were younger, Kennady and I would constantly fight.  I remember when I was four and she was five sitting in the living room playing with matchbox cars with her. I reached for the blue car, but she took it. So I picked up the red one and threw it at her head out of anger. Well, her head did bleed and still to this day there is a mark where the car hit her.
I don’t feel bad that I hit her with it… and almost 11 years later I’m still proud of it.
As we got older we became devious children to each other. We would lock the other out of the house, while staring and laughing out of the  window…we would even chase each other around the house and kick each other until we were down.
At one point, I was the tougher one. I always won the fights. Until we were 8 and I kicked her in the jaw.
She ran at me and punched me numerous times. Since then, she has been the toughest one.
Having a sister this close in age definitely makes life a little more challenging,  but even more worth it.
My sister has taught me what not to do, what to do, how to be loved, and most importantly, she has taught me the meaning of love.
Love, to me, has changed definitions many times throughout the 16 years I have been alive.  As it changes more and more, I see less and less of fault in love. Instead of scurrying away from it, I allow it to slowly creep into my life and find the spot it has always belonged.
Love isn’t perfect 100% of the time. It isn’t always getting along or always saying the perfect things. It isn’t easy,  in fact, It’s actually really really hard. But through my relationship with Ken, I can say this:
Love works in all ways, and if you truly love someone,  no fight will ever be big enough to break the bond. Love is giving someone your last bite  of food when you have been waiting for it all day. Love is telling someone you hate them,  but knowing you mean the exact opposite.  Love is the tears you cry together because sometimes there aren’t words for the situation.  Love is pain. But it hurts because it matters.
No matter how many times my sister hurts me, I will run back to her and look for her warm embrace.  I will put my life on the line for her any time no matter what.  I can never replace her in my life, and I’m proud to say that she is my sister.
She doesn’t always appreciate me mothering her… but sometimes she needs it. And until she believes it to be true, I will remind her how much I love her every single day.
At the end of the day, she’s the only one I’ll ever have that’s exactly like she is.
I don’t appreciate her all of the time, and it hurts me to know that one day she won’t be here for me to appreciate. But one thing I do know is that true love will not fail.
If it is meant to be It’s worth it all, if it is meant to be I’ll risk the fall.
For her, my little heffalump , I would take on the world.
But only WITH her could I conquer it.
I love her without reason, and no matter what, she will always be my seesta.  Because without her, I would have never known what true love was. Love is knowing someone has the ability to hurt you, but accepting that they also have the ability to take away some of that hurt. It also proves that even through the hardest times, through the disappointment and disagreement, through the fights and the disputes, through the bad and the good, there will always be someone here that loves me and understands who I am as a person.

Opening my heart to certain people was and is probably the best decision I could have ever made. I lived for so long under the impression that whatever is able to be loved can also be destroyed. As that is true, not everything that is loved is destroyed.

Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. ”

Truer words have never been spoken.

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Profile photo of Kassidy Everard
I am a sixteen year-old with a passion for writing, traveling, and discovering new things. I am also an aunt to two beautiful little boys who each mean the world to me!

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