Lately I have been extremely stressed out with school. Believe it or not, being a Sophomore is the hardest year in High-school. There are huge obstacles to overcome, an abundant amount of new material to learn and there is a whole new perspective on school.
I have never been an A+ student. School has always come very hard for me. Not school all around, but specifically math and science related courses. I have had more tears than moments of happiness this school year. Math, no matter how hard, has the power to make every bone in my body tremble. The blood in my body boils when I realize I have to do math.
I have had more tears than moments of happiness this school year.
As finals quickly approach, I started to think about what it is that I have learned that I will genuinely need in life. I am not one of those students that considers everything busy-work or that considers everything insignificant. BUT when there are equations I will actually never need in life, other than to become a math teacher, I start to question why we even learn it to begin with.
I look back on my year and see nothing but trial and error. None of my efforts in math have paid off. Then again, what did I expect? They never have. I am constantly faced with the decision of either trying my absolute hardest just to pass one class and walk away with absolutely nothing learned, or giving it a fair amount of effort and expecting amazing results. I am continually stressed out over my head with math. I am easily angered when I cannot figure a math problem out.
All in all, math is what is holding me back in life.
I considered being a Child Psychologist, but math made me hate school. So, seven years doesn’t appeal to me.
I considered being a Teacher, but math made me hate learning. So, four years didn’t appeal to me.
When did I consider just being human? Have any of us ever considered just being human?
I have my strong points in school. Writing being one of them. I would love to be a writer. But what I will accomplish or will not accomplish shouldn’t have any effect on how I decide to live my life. Is math really the only thing holding me back?
Sadly, it is.
As I think about everything I just typed, I think about my future. I think about my children. I would never want my child to tell me that they couldn’t be anything that they wanted to be in life because of one class. I would never want my child to tell me that what he/she is learning in school is “too hard,” or “cannot be understood”. I wouldn’t want my child to cry over a simple math problem because deep down it isn’t the math making him upset. Deep down it’s the thought of not accomplishing extraordinary things that destroys his/her mind.
I wouldn’t want my child to cry over a simple math problem because deep down it isn’t the math making him upset. Deep down it’s the thought of not accomplishing extraordinary things that destroys his/her mind.
I see how corrupt our schools are. How much empty knowledge children are forced to learn. How many things that are taught, but never really used.
Are we filling gaps? Or is it that we just don’t know what else to teach?
I have yet to see math needed beyond what a calculator can do. And it will only get harder.
My parents stopped helping me with homework in the fifth grade. By the sixth, they were both able to tell me that the math I was learning was taught to them as sophomores or juniors in High school. Isn’t it funny how my parents don’t know the math I was taught in sixth grade? They’ve never used it. When will I?
When I have kids, I think I will have to home-school them. Or maybe move to a commune. How could I put that much stress on my child? How could I tell my child that I cannot help them because I have never learned what they are learning? How would I be able to watch my child cry over a simple math problem?
When will society realize that dreams are killed through putting pressure on a child to be something more than they possibly can be?
I wouldn’t be able to hear my child tell me that they aren’t capable enough. I wouldn’t be able to expose my child to a corrupt educating system. I wouldn’t be able to tell my child that they needed to try a little harder than their best because their best just wasn’t enough.
I wouldn’t want to be that parent that was responsible for telling my child that they needed to dream a new dream.
No matter what job, passion is what makes success. An unsuccessful education is no education at all. If you are passionate enough about what you do, then you will succeed in your career. One does not need knowledge to know what brings happiness to life. One does not need a math problem to tell them that they cannot accomplish anything.
I won’t be a teacher. Teachers aren’t even teachers anymore. They hate what they are forced to teach just as much as children hate learning it.
And they have the pain of knowing that there are some kids that they just can’t help. But they must move on. Because just like one child cannot hold the entire class back from learning, one math problem should not hold one child back from succeeding.
I couldn’t let that happen.
I couldn’t do that to my kids.
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